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Two Parrots Walk Into a Bar – Résumé and Interviewing Advice!

September 13, 2019

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – two parrots walk into a bar. In case you’re wondering, neither was a Priest or a Rabbi.

Well, the parrots are both applying for the hostess role, and the hiring manager, clearly unfazed by the idea of having a conversation with parrots, asks them why they would be the right fit.

The first parrot responds “Hi. Good Morning. Bye bye sweetie.”

The bartender says, “Thanks. Good talk. We’ll take your candidacy under consideration and let you know.”

Then the second parrot says, “I say hi and good morning, which makes my family happy. I say bye bye sweetie which makes them feel valued. I want to make your customers feel happy and valued too.”

This struck a chord with the bartender, who hadn’t felt valued since he made a round of cosmos for yesterday’s happy hour and got stiffed.

So the bartender made an offer to the second parrot on the spot. And after a lengthy salary negotiation and generous 401k match, the parrot started on Monday.

The question now becomes – which parrot are you going to be?

Most résumés are written in the form of the first parrot. Simple bullet points. Tasks. Boxes to be checked. But they don’t tell a broader story.

How did you do what you did? What was your personal spin on it? What outcome did it lead to? Why would doing the same at this company lead to similar outcomes?

People love stories. Before long-winded Facebook posts and articles in Good Housekeeping, the way humans passed on information was through person-to-person storytelling.

It remains the most powerful form of communication we have.

So tell a story in your résumé. You’re the main character. Be the second parrot. And land your own dream job.

With the same generous 401k match.

If you want to be THE best parrot (or rather candidate) contact Taylor Performance Solutions at (800) 610-8170 or We can support you with creating a résumé that gets interviews or coach you on interviewing skills that get the offer.

Special Thanks to Geoff Woliner of for helping me write this post!

Linda Berke, CPRW

President, Taylor Performance Solutions, Inc.